I debated whether or not to post about breastfeeding. The thing is, it's almost taboo to talk about in public. Just like a lot of women get dirty looks if they feed their babies in public. But it is a very fundamental natural thing. And, as I am turning my blog into a memory book in a year, I want to have memories of my experience of breastfeeding my girls. So since I haven't mentioned it yet, this will probably be a long post. In the parenting world, breastfeeding is the kind of hot topic like religion and politics are to the rest of the world. You just don't go there if you don't want to start a debate! My personal stance is that breastfeeding is the most natural thing for you and baby. What I don't agree with is the people who say they wanted to breastfeed and couldn't. (There are some medical exceptions, but in most cases the women, in my opinion, just didn't get the right support.) I believe that if you want to give your baby formula, then state that, and don't feel guilty for not using breastmilk. Otherwise, breastfeed! I also think there isn't enough real life discussions out there on breastfeeding. That's why I wanted to share my adventure so far.
First off I'd like to say that nursing twins is hard, but it's also easy. Basically no matter what, feeding twins is hard. That's the thing that people don't realize. Unless there are two adults at all times, anytime one person tries to feed two babies that are hungry at the same time, it's hard. There are two scenarios. You feed one baby at a time, or you feed both babies at once. If you do one at a time, you have to put up with another baby crying. I couldn't deal with that emotionally. If you feed both at the same time you juggle the babies and have problems with just physically holding two babies at once! So, like I said it's hard, but it's also easy. It's easy because there is no bottles to wash afterwards. It's always available, doesn't take time to warm up and best of all it's free. It's hard because you are the only one who can feed your babies and it is a physical commitment. I do have some stored, pumped breastmilk, but that is like liquid gold and used sparingly. Pumping is a whole other topic and it is also very hard.
My experience. Now, at two and half months, I can say I love nursing my girls. It was a hard journey to get to that statement! While I have never hated it, sometimes I just wanted to cry when it was time to feed. I suffered through engorgement, clogged ducts and thrush. All these things are some of the most painful things I have ever experienced in my life. I had ice packs on my breasts to try and relieve the pain. The thrush felt like someone was electrocuting my breasts. I also had to learn how to use something called a nipple shield since my preemies couldn't latch properly. But even in the very beginning, knowing that I was continuing to be the full support for my babies, it made the separation from giving birth easier. I've heard from a lot of women that they miss being pregnant after the give birth. By breastfeeding I am continuing the growth of my babies outside of the womb. I love the satisfied looks on their faces when they are full too.
In the beginning. My girls had to be on formula for 3 days in the hospital. They were born at a low birth weight and they didn't have enough fat stores to cope with the weight loss that all babies go through after being born until mom's milk comes in fully. The docs said that if I didn't supplement with formula they would have to go to NICU. I sure didn't want that, so we did use the formula. Even though I didn't want to use it, I'm grateful that formula was an option for those few days to give my body time to work out the fact that I was trying to feed two babies. I started pumping immediately. I soon was making enough milk to feed 3-4 babies! Luckily breastmilk can be frozen, so we just kept putting it away. Finally I realized I needed to wean away from the pump. That is when the pain started. I tried weaning from the pump too quickly. It's a very slow process. My body had to catch up to the fact that I wanted to make less milk. About the time I was pump free, Maddie and I got thrush. Thrush is just a yeast infection. The docs say that for babies it isn't painful, maybe a bit uncomfortable. For the mom, it's very painful. Antibiotics cleared it up. Not all women get it.
Also in the beginning, the girls, being preemies, didn't have the energy to suck on my breast enough to get full. So I didn't start tandem feeding right away. I'd nurse one girl and John would bottle feed the other girl pumped milk. When they were still preemies and didn't have the energy to fill up at my breast we let the girl I had "practice" at the breast for 20 minutes, then let her fill up on a bottle. At the next feeding we switched girls. This lasted until they were strong enough to nurse at every feeding. I tried doing them one at a time for a few feedings, but I couldn't stand the other baby crying, so I learned how to tandem feed out of necessity. Feeding the girls is a time consuming activity. They eat every 3 hours and in the beginning it took a little over an hour to feed and
change them. This left a little less than 2 hours between all of the feedings. Now we are all more efficient, I feed them in about 45 minutes. They still go 3 hours during the day, but at night we usually get 5 or 6 hour stretches.
The process. When I'm by myself, I strip both girls down to their diapers. (They are very messy eaters!) I lay one girl on my loveseat. Then I put on my nursing pillow, which straps onto me. I have to make sure I have water, a burpie cloth and my nipple shields all near me. Then I pick up the second girl and sit down. I lean over and pick up the first girl. Then I get ready to nurse. Sometimes I have to go back and forth between each girl several times. They'll latch on, and then let go. After nursing, I carry both of them together to the nursery where I change their diapers one by one. Then I get them redressed. Just in the past day or two they've started eating neater and I don't have to get them undressed. This is a big help!!
My favorite part. My favorite part has been since the girls started opening their eyes and looking at me while they nurse. I just get so happy! Sometimes there is a look on their face like they are eating the best chocolate ice cream in the world. I love their little satisfied grunts while they are nursing too. I play a game and try to figure out what style of eating they are doing at each feeding. Last night Izzie kept eating for just a few sucks and then would fall off. I was getting very frustrated until I realized she must be eating at a Dim Sum restaurant. Sometimes they go for fast food. That's when they finish nursing in 8 min. and I can't get them to take more. Maddie usually likes casual dining. She sprawls her arms out and just totally relaxes while she nurses. Izzie tends to lean more towards fine dining and she takes her time to get her money's worth.
My success. I was successful due to a few things. Dedication and determination are high on the list. Support is the third essential element. John and my Mom were lifesavers in those first few weeks. John was right there with me for each and every feeding. Including the night feedings. It took more than one person to feed these girls. That is super important and I think it's the key that most people miss. Just because I was the one making the milk, it took more than myself to nurse in the beginning. Sometimes he'd massage my shoulders and talk me through the pain. Sometimes he talked to keep me awake. He did most of the diaper changes in the beginning. My Mom was also a great coach. She brought a womans perspective. Without them, I would have been lost.
The future. The girls are 12 weeks today. I read somewhere while I was pregnant that it takes about 3 months to get a rhythm with breastfeeding and the most satisfaction comes after the third month. Too bad a lot of mom's don't make it that far. My plans are to breastfeed for at least a year. Soon, the girls will outgrow my breastfeeding pillow. When they do, we'll just have to invent new methods. The adventure continues....